As I approached the school with Hayden, I couldn't help but flinch at the noise so profoundly noticeable two blocks from the auditorium. Hayden and I had arrived at an elementary school for his audition to participate in a community choir and band/orchestra that will be performing in a couple of months. We made our way to the table to sign in, our conversation with the attendant sounding something like this as we talked over the "music" emanating from the adjoining multi-purpose room:
"We're here to check in for the choir audition."
[straining to hear]"WHAT?"
"We are here for the CHOIR AUDITION!"
"NAME?"
" HAYDEN VAN CLEAVE"
"JADEN?"
[With as much enunciation I could muster] "HAY-DEN... with an 'H!'"
"Oh! Here you are! Take this paperwork and head into that room over there!" [points to the right and winces as her head turns in the direction of the sound causing our conversation to be so inaudible]
"WHAT?!"
"TAKE THIS AND GO IN THERE!!!"
[audibly gasping as I am pointed in the direction of all the noise] "IN THERE?!? WHERE THAT CACOPHONY OF SOUND IS COMING FROM?!?"
"Yup!"
As I entered the high-ceilinged room, bedecked by basketball hoops and the California flag, I refrained from plugging my ears so as not to hurt the feelings of those from whom the sound originated. The noise was absolutely deafening. All around the periphery, anxious elementary aged "musicians" practiced their craft. I tried to steer clear of the string instruments as they warmed up their bows, oblivious to the innocent bystanders that risked getting too close to the part of their instrument that could easily poke out an eye. Honking in the corner, a collection of clarinet players eeked out an undecipherable tune. Competing to be heard, a saxophonist blared "Yankee Doodle" at the other end of the hall. Not to be outdone, the cellist that had nearly impaled me upon my entry, started up with "Turkey in the Straw" as two seats down sat an undeterred trumpeter doing his best imitation of "Ode to Joy." Here and there and everywhere, squeaks and squawks of woodwinds and screeches and scratches of strings were echoing from the rafters, all trying to compete for airspace.
Meanwhile my quiet, shy young man sat nervously in his chair, too timid to practice his "instrument" in the chaos. After 20 minutes of waiting silently, he was called to perform for the judges in a nearby classroom, insulated from the auditory insult I would get to enjoy for the next half an hour by myself.
Oh, how I admire the patience of the parents of those budding musicians. I don't know that I could, in good conscience, inflict the sound of a dying animal on my neighbors as my child practiced his newly developing talent. Nor do I think the blasted instrument would survive my intolerance for more than a week or two.
Did Yo Yo Ma ever sound like that? Dizzy Gillespie? Kenny G? ...Okay, Kenny G still sounds like that to me, but you get the idea...
Next week, Hayden will find out if the fruits of his labor will amount to a place in the choir. If not, then surely he'll jump to the next box ...perhaps a little deafer than when he began this experience (see Wayne's post to figure out what the heck I'm talking about.)
8 comments:
I can picture the entire experience because of your colorful prose (and that funny,descriptive picture at the beginning).
I'm so glad you braved it all to allow Haydee-Bo to develop his considerable talents. There's only one thing that could keep him out of that choir, that is, if he did what I did in the 6th grade tryout for Jr. High choir; I began "Silent Night" on the wrong note and was too shy to tell the teacher I knew it, and sang the whole song in the wrong key (And on the wrong notes). I have never gotten over it, as you can plainly see. The teacher thought I was tone-deaf. What a silly thing to do. I really was shy, tho no one believes me.
Very funny. What instrument is Hayden learning? Best of luck to him. I do have some empathy as Brooklyn just started taking piano lessons and fancies herself quite the maestro. Its okay when she sticks to the book, but sometimes (and by sometimes I mean whenever I'm on the phone or trying to talk to someone at the door) she begins wild improvisation the likes of which would cause people of low-noise tolerance to spiral into hysterics.
Of course it could be worse. She could be learning the violin.
Hayden is doing choir, Di.
He's quite talented, ridiculously good-looking, and commands the stage, but he already thinks he's "all that", because he's won a couple of school talent shows.
He is a good singer... Waaay better than the little Brittney Spears impersonators who get up on stage and act like mini-ho's.
Here's to hoping he takes a small dose of humility and can take constructive criticism.
Sorry. I know I might sound too tough at times, but I just want my kids to keep it real.
You are a superb writer, Shana! Tyler and I got such a kick out of this post tonight. Can't wait to hear if Hayden made the cuts for choir!
That is hilarious! Kendall had many of those days, listening to 6th graders learning how to play their instruments. He says by far the worst-sounding instruments are the french horn and the violin. Can't wait to hear how he did!!! Go Hayden!!!!!
Lainie - Having been a hard-core band geek from 4th to 12th grade, I can certainly attest to the french horn being the worst... although, when mastered, it is my favorite wind instrument.
The trombones were pretty awful, too. I didn't know sounds like that existed until the concert the other night!
hari only saw the photo and said "is that daddy in a monkey suit?" lol, no. lol. well, let us know how it goes for hayden...good luck!
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