Husbands are funny creatures. For some reason I can't figure out, they do not understand buying feminine hygiene supplies. When Wayne and I first married, I discovered this Y chromosomal handicap that prevented him from being able to procure the proper accoutrements when Aunt Flo was coming to town. So, in our newlywed wisdom, we developed a system involving football team names:
- For those very heavy flow days, only Super will do. Super tampons = St. Louis RAMS.
- For moderate flow, Regular tampons. Regular = Washington REDSKINS.
- When the last vestiges of the week remain, I just need some pantyliners or Lite tampons. These = Cleveland BROWNS.
It's never failed.
Usually, though, I buy for myself and spare Wayne the disgrace of purchasing what is OBVIOUSLY for a female loved one. I never understood the shame men feel, but ...Whatever, you wusses! (I mean, it's not like I'm asking him to buy Queen Size Panty Hose, for crying out loud!).
I've learned that the humiliation is not isolated to male consumers purchasing for their desperate housewives. Bag Boys are not immune to the embarrassment. One time when I was very much in need of monthly supplies, while checking out at the grocery store late at night, a squeaky clean young man about 16 years old was bagging my groceries. On the conveyor belt lay four items: Super Tampax, Maxi Pads, Midol, and a value-pak of chocolate confections. The innocent young man (prior to looking at my purchases) addressed me in an oh-so-polite and cheerful manner and said, "How are you doing tonight, Ma'am?". Before I could reply, he glanced down at my supplies, turned beet red, stared blankly at my necessities, and walked away... Without even bagging them.
Someday, in another life, he'll be making those emergency runs for his wife.
Hope she likes football.
15 comments:
That is the most awesome post EVER!! So true! Even my brother (who only has sisters) is totally embarrassed by the topic. Get over it men!
Right after I had Maeby, I mean RIGHT after, three days to be exact, I needed more pads. Every woman that's ever had a baby knows the super absorbancy pads needed after birth. So I sent poor Chad on a run for me. He came back with pantyliners. I cried.
i send my hubs for supplies all the time and he never bats an eyelash. BUT he is the FIRST man in my life who has ever been so cool about it. i asked him once if he cared and he said, "nope, i got a beautiful woman in my life, why would i?" awww i know, he is a keeper.
i do love the system you have with your honey tho...super cute and very creative! ;)
so funny my post this evening was about this same topic.
ah poor little 16 year old bagger :) The other day I went through the check out like with brownies, licorice, bag of peanut butter cups and the kid who was ringing me up just kept staring at me! then I looked down and saw all the candy and that it looked like I was buying it for myself. So i just "yep I'm having a really bad day" although it was for a party :)
OMG I can't stop laughing I'm so going to link this on my blog...mmm kay? :) XOXOX
Andy always gives me lip when I send him to the store for feminine product.
You have on a wedding ring. The products are obviously not for you. What's the dealio yo? I buy you aftershave.
HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
I LOVE THIS!!!!!!
Hmmm... let me see, Di...
Aftershave or tampons?
THAT'S a tough one.
Other than that, I have no comment, and will promptly head on back to the safe confines of Man Land.
*shudder*
Adieu, ladies.
That is hilarious!!! You know, Kendall doesn't even like to buy the condoms -- AND THEY ARE FOR HIM!!!! He usually sends me to the store for them! ;0)
Hi
I came from Kaci's blog. That is hilarious! My hubby won't even push he cart when feminine products are in it.
LOL! I love this post! Thanks for the good laugh :)
Hilarious and so true. Love the code system you have worked out. Superman's weirdness goes to shopping for ALL things, however. He HATES shopping with a passion. We're out of bread and I asked if he wanted to run to the store to get some last night. (Our wonder bread store is less than 60 seconds away. In and out. Home in 7 minutes.) He was all, "Really? I mean, I guess I COULD, but...." I told him if he didn't go get some, we wouldn't have bread and butter with our spaghetti. He said it was okay with that.
If it were an absolute DIRE emergency, I'm sure he'd go, but not until then.
Love the look and colors you got going on!!!
wow, your dh is pretty good to want to come up with code names! i love them!!! GO BROWNS! Love, those light days! well, when I had them.
I am a hyster sister!
lol. i'm totally glad i don't have to buy any of that stuff...but can't wait for the depends, lol...what code words do you have for that?
Wow, your threats worked. No male comments with the exception of Wayne. You are one scary, to be feared woman! :)
I had to go the the grocery store late one night to buy a pregnancy test. I think I was more embarassed than the checker. There's just something about buying a product that goes between your legs that is embarassing for anyone, male or female.
Post a Comment