I'm A Pretty, Pretty Princess... But I Don't Wear Sea-Shell Pasties

If this whole pediatric residency thing doesn't work out for me, I have a back up career in mind: I figure Disney might want to hire me.

You see, in the Children's Dental Center, I am Ariel: Able to woo frightened little girls into relaxing through their dental procedures. I have even been requested to leave my own patient in order to help my colleagues in another room when they have a particularly scared patient of their own.

So how did this remarkable talent surface?

One of my co-residents asked me to assist her with a three year old patient one day. "She screamed and cried during the entire exam last time she came in, and now I need to give her a filling. I just need someone to help contain her while I slap the material in her tooth as fast as I can," she pleaded.

When I walked into the "quiet" room (which, for anybody who doesn't understand that euphemism, should more appropriately be called the "Screaming" room) , a beautiful wide-eyed little Hispanic girl was perched in the seemingly giant dental chair, looking like she was ready to bolt out of the room at the first sign of trouble. BOTH of her parents were holding her hands, and her blankie was on her lap. She was wearing sparkly shoes adorned with the Little Mermaid, with a shirt to match, and socks, and her blankie, and a hair clip... all of which was covered with the love-lorn bikini-clad princess.

So I just started singing a refrain from (what certainly appeared to be) her favorite movie. "Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat?" and I held up a mirror. "Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?" ...and the girl had suddenly loosened her grip on the blankie and was staring, slack-jawed at me. Mom and Dad were easily able to convince her I was the ACTUAL Ariel from the movie, come to help fix her teeth (despite the fact that I had blonde hair instead of fiery red, and I had obviously traded my shell-shaped pasties for dumpy, bluish-gray scrubs). For the rest of the appointment, I just kept singing while handing the other dentist the equipment she needed. And for the rest of the appointment, our little patient was completely entranced and never uttered a peep. She even left smiling.

So from that time forward, I have been met with, "Hey, Ariel! Can you give me a hand?" ...and I'm off to one screaming kid after another to soothe the savage little beasts with a tune or two.

I really need to expand my repertoire, however. I have yet to find anything that works for boys as well as "Part of Your World" works for girls. Somehow I don't think Mulan's "Be a Man" would have quite the same effect on screaming little boys.