Funny Story

A couple of days ago, I was treating an 84 year old woman (I'll call her B). I am making a new set of dentures for her. She is always accompanied by her daughter, and together we have some pretty interesting conversations. Wednesday's conversation takes the cake, however.

Somehow we got on the subject of plastic surgery. I think the topic evolved because she was commenting about how the set of dentures we were replacing gave her a "Planet of the Apes" look by pooching our her face and she was happy the new set didn't look like that. She said it was like instant plastic surgery. She then started a rant about how she would never do plastic surgery because she earned every one of her wrinkles (She's in her mid-eighties... If she had plastic surgery, she'd look more deformed than Joan Rivers!)

Then the topic veered exactly like this:

B: You know what else I hate?

Me: What's that?

B: Those lip injections. People stick needles in their face just so they can get big, deformed looking lips... That "beestung" look. Everybody wants to look like Angelina Jolie.

Me: I've noticed that. It seems people have a hard time moving their lips after they have that done. Looks pretty fake.

B: It sure does. And why anybody would want to look like that "Jolie" girl, I don't know! I think she is just homlier than a dirt-covered fence!

Me: (chuckling) I've never heard that expression before.

B: Oh, yes. My father used to say that all the time. But anyhow, I don't like that "Jolie" person. She's a weird one. Why would Brad Pitt drop that nice young woman for such a nasty person like Angelina Jolie (said with much contempt)? She's just nasty!

Me: You have pretty strong opinions on the subject. (By now her daughter, who is sitting off to the side in her mom's wheelchair, is half chuckling, half mortified)

B: Oh, I do! She's just the nastiest little thing. Saying things like, "The best kisser I ever had was my brother" ...and marrying that Billy Bob Thorton character. Why anyone would ever marry him I don't know, but I guess that's pretty fitting because she is just n a s t y! I don't see what all those boys see in her. All I can say is, she must be some roll in the hay!

At this point, her daughter and I just erupted in laughter! I don't even think my grandparents have a clue who Angelina Jolie is... Much less, what her quality of extracurricular performances must be. Cracked me up!

Just another day in the life of the UOP dental clinic.