I PASSED THE BOARDS!!!!!

We're In The Same State, Right?

We get asked this question a lot: "Where are you guys from?"
That's a complicated question, as both Wayne and I have lived up and down California, and have recently made the move again. So for those of you who don't know much about the Golden State, I thought I would share with you a little known secret to outsiders...

There are really two Californias: Northern California and Southern California. They are as different as Krispy Kreme and Tofu. So here is my own little guide to those differences.


Transportation: In No.Cal., you will frequently come across people trying to make a statement with their vehicles. This was a picture we took of a Volkwagon Vanagon that we would see cruising around Marin. Very artistic!








Southern Californians like to make statements with their cars, too. But generally the statement is, "I have more money that you."















And here is another contrast. Northern Californians have A LOT to say... particularly if there is anything liberally biased. I can't tell you how many times we saw "Impeach Bush" bumper stickers. But this picture I stole from Annie Ballard's blog is a very good depiction of the abundance of opinions that are shared via bumper stickers in No.Cal. (Left)

Southern Californians are a bit more understated (Right)









The Coastline:
No.Cal is known for its picturesque, craggy ocean cliffs. The weather is often very chilly, the water is freezing, but the views are astounding. On an average day, a coat or sweater is downright necessary (Left)
So.Cal beaches have gained notoriety for the balmy ocean shores, soft bright sand, and bikini displays on every beach. You are crazy if you have your midriff covered in this "fun in the sun" atmosphere. (Right) Note also how many people are covering the beach compared to No.Cal.












Bralessness (it's a word... look it up): When Northern Californians shun the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders, it is done as a political movement. Southern Californians don't all need bras because silicone remains fairly perky.











Pets:
Northern Californians are constantly protesting on the behalf of animals all over the world. During my first year of dental school, I had to pass by a sign on Lombard street every day that proudly displayed an aborted sheep fetus that some clothing manufacturer had somehow managed to cause to occur. (I won't even go into the hypocrisy in that billboard.) Basically, No.Cal has a funny "Pets are People" policy. Southern Californians have made pets into the latest fashion accessory.











Finally (and most importantly), how do both regions view trannies? As you may know, transvestites are a fairly common part of San Francisco living. I think I saw at least one just about every day I was in the city. Some were over-the-top flamboyant; some were "feminist-chic" wherein the he/she would wear everyday casual girl clothes but were so obviously dudes; others managed to pull it off quite nicely, and you would do a double take as soon as she spoke and sounded like Barry White. But here in L.A., the trannies are fierce, as demonstrated by Brad Pitt's fabulocity in this picture. Now there is a man comfortable with his manhood!











So to answer the question, where are we from?

Wayne was born in No.Cal (Vallejo), left the state (Hawaii), did most of his growing up in So.Cal (Carlsbad), moved up to No.Cal in high school and early college (Cobb Mountain/Santa Rosa).

I was born in So.Cal (Santa Monica), did most of my growing up in No.Cal (Santa Rosa/Sacramento), left the state (Georgia), came back to No. Cal for college, married Wayne, moved to So.Cal for 12 years, moved back up to No.Cal for dental school, moved back down to Santa Monica for post-grad residency, and will finally settle back up in No.Cal in two years.

Got it?

It's Getting There...

Thought you might like to see the progress we're making on the move. Living Room is done, office and bedrooms are nearing the finish line, and kitchen is still without fridge, but close to completion. Here are some pics of the new digs.

Wayne put together both of the book shelves in the living room. Only one part was screwed in upside down. BTW, the couches are NOT hot pink (can you imagine how that would go over in my house full of boys?). It is dark red. For some reason the picture makes it looks very frou-frou.

I can't believe how much space we have here. And I love the wood floors! We will probably add an area rug by the couch.

Here is the view from the dining room. You can see through the open doorway on the left into the office (which is where the front door opens into.) You can also see at the top of this picture, a lovely light fixture we have affectionately named "The Glory of the Sun." It is this gaudy, bling-a-rific chandelier that could easily rival the movie premier flood lights that are seen so regularly in this neck of the woods. Seriously, I'm afraid the light shining through my windows may accidentally signal planes to land. It's horrendous! And how the *bleep* do you keep all those little twinkly dangly things clean? Aye, me!

Here it is in all it's glory. It's that glare that looks like an atomic bomb just exploded above my kitchen table. Tres chic!

Let me just say how great the boys have been in helping with this massive undertaking. Almost all of the boxes have been unpacked, and their empty remains placed in the recycling bins. I even opened up a package to assemble an office chair, and Hayden completed the task unassisted! He was even the first to try it out, so I know it's not boobie trapped.

So what's my motivational secret?
Agreeing to let them pool their money together to get an X-box 360 when everything is done. The boys have been saving up all their cash, and I promised that when all the boxes had been emptied, we could head over to Costco to make the big purchase. I've never seen them so completely driven... especially Wayne!

Amber Alert!!!

Have you seen this boy?

Name: Timmy

Height: 1'2" standing (but he is confined to a wheelchair, so it's more like 9" most of the time)

Weight: 1.4 lbs. soaking wet

Distinguishing Features: Vacant eyes; Huge cranium (we suspect hydrocephaly as the root of his diminished mental capacity); Tiny, shriveled legs, Responds to his name but can only reply with and enthusiastic, "TIMMY!" or if he is sad, a despondent "timmy" may escape his lips.

Last seen with: His big brother Nathan, who took him out onto the playground in front of our old apartment to document Timmy's last moments in San Rafael. We always suspected Nathan was a bit jealous, given Timmy's obvious special needs, but had no idea he would go so far as to abandon his poor, helpless brother! Whether due to neglect or downright vindictiveness, Nathan will be dealt with harshly.










Though we suspect Timmy is gone forever, we hold out some hope that he will make his way back to us in our new home in Southern California. He has been with us on many family adventures: Disneyland, Knotts, Universal Studios. We felt it only fitting that we document his journey to Santa Monica. We are sickened and saddened at the prospect of our special little boy sitting helplessly atop the slide, waiting for his big brother (whom he once admired and adored) to pack him in the car for our journey South.

If you have any information regarding Timmy's whereabouts, please post a comment. Your attention in this matter is much appreciated!

No Longer Homeless

Hayden said, as he looked around our barren apartment in San Rafael on Friday, "We don't have a home now!" Though he knew full well we were heading to a new place to live the next day, he was struck by the gravity of having every last one of his possessions crammed into a U-Haul.

But, much to Hayden's relief... We're Here!!!!

We arrived safely and without much incident.

Well, most of us, anyway...

We are sad to say we lost a very dear member of our little family along the way. It has been a catastrophe of epic proportions, let me tell you. More to come on that subject soon.

Our apartment is huge. Our boxes are plentiful. We still have to find a fridge and a microwave... Our move seems it has only just begun! Back to work....

In the Immortal Words of Kip Dynamite...

Peace Out!

Off to Santa Monica! You can still reach me at my cell phone number. We won't have Internet service for a while, so unless I can pick up free WiFi in the area, I'll be off the blogosphere until we settle a bit.

Keep your fingers crossed all goes well. This has been (by far) the craziest move I have ever had to coordinate... between the boards, graduation, and the start of my new program. Holy Shnikies! I need a vacation!

GRADUATION!!!!

After all our fun and games this weekend, all the festivities finally drew to a close on Sunday afternoon... Graduation time!!! For those of you who have not been on the blog in the last couple of days, strap on your seat belts... there are a LOT of posts of late. Bear with me. I am trying to get all of this done before the move on Friday/Saturday.

The Graduation took place at the Masonic Center: 1111 California Street (My lucky number and address growing up is 1111...Cool.)

Rows 11 and 12... What would I ever have done without the hilarity that always seemed to break out at the West side of the Sim Lab?
Proud Papa: The only thing I asked of my brother Scott for my graduation was that he wear his Marine dress blues for my graduation. He was kind of timid about doing so, but I assured him that it would , in no way, steal my thunder. Nobody in the family had gotten the chance to see him all decked out, but the second I saw him walk in, I started tearing up. He looked so great!

Most of the family got to sit across the isle from me. It was great getting to share the ceremony with everyone so close to me.Rob Whiting, Bryce Williams, Dan Witcher, Brian Withers... So glad I was at the end of the alphabet during the sim lab days of first year. These guys were great!
Erik Unger... My sim lab "son." He is the one that started calling me "The Row Mom," and offered me Mother's Day greetings every year. We sat next to each other during the first year, and I will never forget that first day unpacking all of our stuff together. "What's a tanner carver? What's a typodont?" Man, those were the days.
AS SOON as I got in sight of the auditorium, I got all emotional and started crying before I even walked in the door. What a big baby!

Dean Ferillo's speechAt the reception afterwards:Wayne's cousin and one of my best friends: Kelly
All of my siblings: Amy, Scott, and Remy
The whole fam:
With Mom and Chuck
Jeff and Amy. Poor Jeff was struggling with his allergies from all of the leis and flower arrangements at the ceremony. Thanks for enduring all of the suffering on my behalf.Classmates Rhonda Bowen and Alison BarnesTracy and Dan Haws (Mr. Smartypants #2 in the class... who I carpooled with for the past year and had no idea I was in the presence of supergenious! That's what I love about the guys that got Valedictorian and Salutatorian honors: they were humble and unassuming about their talents. Nobody really knew until they were publicly recognized.)

Below that: Haws and Williams. Maybe this will be the 4th generation dental graduate?

That is, if he ever decides to give up his NASCAR career.