Well, karma gave me a sturdy round-house kick in the face, as I learned all about the other kinds of smells one can become acquainted with while using public transportation.
I was sitting about half way back on the bus, and had passed a few stops, when a 60+ year old man entered through the front doors. Before he put his money in, he stood in the center isle near the driver and announced, "I apologize, everyone! I didn't get a chance to go to the bathroom!" He then proceeded to rummage through his pocket and find enough change to continue his ride, sat down in the first seat, as I sat about 10 feet away pondering his announcement.
I wasn't left to ponder for long, as a WAVE of fecal aroma suddenly hit everybody in my general vicinity. It was SO pungent, that people (including myself) were waving things in front of them, began frantically opening windows, and very swiftly vacating the seats nearest the olfactory offense.
As he sat up at the front of the bus, he began a vehement rant that continued for the duration of my ride. I'm sure the voices in his head were very receptive, but the rest of the passengers were not. He was given a wide perimeter, as oncoming passengers entered, plunked their change in the meter, started towards the open seats, caught a whiff, and gagged all the way towards the far end of the bus.
I couldn't help but think I had just met the inspiration for this character today.
(At least his refuse wasn't floating around in a jar.)
15 comments:
All I can say is "EWWWWWW GROSS!!!!"
Oh my goodness, Shana! I am laughing so hard over here, I can hardly stand it. Your story was beyond funny, and the clip was just the icing on the cake. Great memories!
Shana, that was the funniest thing I've ever read!
I am soooo sorry, Shana!!!! It reminds me of riding on the Subway in NY! The vagrant on my train had just used his pants for a latrine... Everyone left that car really fast.... the next car was VERY Full(sardines) but BO was better than that guy!!!!!The joys of public transportation!
LOL!LOL! My ver. word is "weacki"!
"Yes, riding the bus made everyone feel a bit "we-acki!!!"
Hysterical, Shanabug.
But, maybe we should reconsider the whole public transportation thing :)
agh! reminds me of holding my child last night thinking "i smell poo" "what's wrong" and so sniff around in the air...hear my son giggle and say "i was only scratching my butt" and put his hands closer to me AGHGHGHAA....seriously...he was quickly escorted to the bathroom to wipe and wash his hands.
I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
In amazing coincidence I was also about to blog about my most recent experience with poo. I'm afraid yours put mine to shame.
Thanks wayneman for liking my blog too! I still have a B52's post coming up in the near future just for you :)
oh and shana I've been thinking about you all day since you posted the msg on facebook about the little girl who can't have a heart operation :) hope you are doing okay
Yay!!!
This post had me laughing SO hard! I read it to my husband and we both breathed a sigh of relief that we live in a relatively small town... phew! (or should I say, pew?!)
Hi Shanana
I stumbled across your blog on LDS BLOGS. I thought you mighe be interested in a site my wife and I just built called MormonsMadeSimple.com, which uses simple, explanatory videos to explain the Mormon faith. Feel free to feature any of these videos on your blog, or just share them with non-member friends. We're hoping these videos will be missionary tools to help members share their beliefs. Anyway, sorry to spam your comments section. I couldn't find any contact information for you on your blog.
- Doug & Laurel
You are so hilarious Shana. Anyway, if you feel like completing a TAG... you have been tagged on my blog. :-)
OH MY GOSH!! seriously, I would have had to have gotten off!
I have a sensitive nose and gag reflex!!! that stuff makes me vomit! seriously.
That is so foul. I can't even imagine. Good thing you aren't pregnant. You know how sensitive our sense of smell is during that 9months. I swear Kendall contracts constant hallitosis during that time. ugh.
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