Well, I thought so too when my Kindergartener started reading my Biology textbooks and could succinctly explain to me what the differences between polyp and sessile cnidarians were. Or when Nathan spelled the words "myocardial infarction" a few months after he got bored with "Hop on Pop."
People used to say, "How did you do it?" "How come you have such miraculously intelligent children?" I would chuckle silently to myself because I knew the real secret: They liked T.V. and poop jokes.
I did read to my kids a lot. But I also found other teachers to help me out. For instance, I would often let Steve from "Blue's Clues" read to the kids via Closed Captioning. When you live in a small apartment, and your husband is hard of hearing, those annoying little words that scroll across the screen when you're watching a loud movie can be quite handy. They are also handy when your toddler is plopped down in front of The Tube while Mommy is performing her slumlord duties. I didn't really think anything of it, until one day Nathan said, "Mommy, can you turn the words off the T.V.? I can't stop reading them and I want to watch the show." "Why, of course not, Nathan. They are doing my job for me so I can artfully neglect you while I collect rent."
The other mechanism by which I fed my kids' intellect (can you call it that?) is by letting them read as many "Captain Underpants" books as they could get their little paws on. Earlier tonight, they were reminiscing about the amazing exploits of Dav Pilke's characters: "Do you remember the time when Deputy Doo Doo turned into poo and then somebody stepped on him and he was flat?" *giggle, giggle, giggle* "Do you remember when he got into a nuclear power plant and mutated into a giant turd? and then Captain Underpants saved the day by attacking him with toilet paper?" *hee hee hee*
Emily Dickinson, eat your heart out.
So, yes... My kids are very smart. But I owe a big debt of gratitude to the great ones that aided me in my parenting. Thank you, Super Diaper Baby and Deputy Doo Doo. Thank you, Blue and Steve. May my children carry on your legacy throughout the remainder of their lives.
They're doing a pretty good job already, doncha think?
3 comments:
*chirp* *chirp*
Wow. It's been a few days now, and no comments yet? Maybe that first line about our kids being "geniuses" made people get the wrong idea about this post, and quit reading.
- If they only knew -
I loved it, Shana.
You're pretty freakin hilarious :)
Sorry its taken me this long to comment. Loved this post. If that is the secret to your parenting then I feel we're headed in the right direction :)
lol, i fear that my parenting skills are lacking. i don't own 'hop on pop' so i doubt my kids will ever have a chance to get bored and break out as geniuses like your boys.
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