Today was the mock boards at school. Since my patient's cavities and calculus are precious to me these days with the regional boards fast approaching, I declined to participate and save the good stuff for the actual boards. So I took the day off instead.It began all well and good: a hike with Wayne in China camp, a picnic by the marina, and I was REALLY excited about surprising Hayden by picking him up from school.
When I got there, however, he came up behind me after having been in the principal's office. I could tell he was choking back tears. He wasn't in trouble, but was AGAIN the victim of another bully attack. One of his classmates and former friends (we'll call him J) came up behind him while he was reading and started squeezing him until he couldn't breathe. This is the second attack by J, who has just returned to school from a suspension due to a previous assault on Hayden. The poor kid has been through enough! Two other girls got suspended about a month ago: One for feeding Hayden an apple that she had put in a toilet, and the other for pulling his pants down on the playground. WHAT GIVES???
I can't begin to imagine what is not to like about Hayden. I can only surmise that it is due to the fact that he is so little and kids live the law of the jungle (little animals!). His principal was very supportive and assures us that J is not to touch Hayden again. J's parents were totally mortified and snuck out the back door of the principal's office rather than pass us as we waited in the lobby.
I just hope and pray that Hayden doesn't walk into his new school with a target on his back due to his genetic misfortune. I also hope that whatever angst is causing J to act out in this way does not transfer to some other victim once Hayden has moved away from his grasp.
16 comments:
This is Hayden speaking.
I realy hope The principal is to have J to not touch me again, and I hope J looks back at his mistakes because he knows that I have protection.
Hayden is adorable. Bullying is so wrong. My 11 year old gets so angry when he sees bullying at school, and he will step in to stick up for victims.
I really hope this doesn't continue.
Lovely picture of your hike today, btw. Nice to meet you!
Hayden, you'll be fine. I lived through it when I was your age too. And I'm very impressed with the way you are learning to handle it.
Emma has the same problem at school. She looks so much older because she is big ("5'2" according to the Doc. last week) She is too nice to the little creetons, so they play tricks on her. Hayden, you are special and the other kids sence it. I am sure that all of the girls think you are cute and that may cause jealous boys to be mean to you. You have a great, forgiving attitude and I admire you too.
Kids can be so cruel. These bullies must have some serious issues to be picking on perfectly nice kids like Hayden.
Maddie has a similar problem, but not as extreme. What is it about our sweet children that causes them to be picked on? Don't you just want to start cracking skulls? I also came across Maddie in the pricipal's office one day: she had tripped a boy in PE that had been teasing her all quarter. Part of me wanted to celebrate that she had stood up for herself, but I didn't want to encourage "violence". She had to have a lunch detention at school, but the only "punishment" she got at home was no video games for that day. I lived through this too at that age, and unfortunately, it didn't improve until high school. I've tried to teach my girls that some people are just mean, and to stay away from them as best you can. I've also told them to tell a teacher if it's really bad, although some of the teachers (one in particular) are not very supportive. Maddie's tried to bring some issues to her attention and her response is "what are you getting so upset about?" and "would Piper complain about that?" WHAT?? They are individuals, not a "set", regardless of their having the same birthday. Luckily, they won't have that teacher next year, and Maddie went over her head to the Vice Principal instead!
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My philosphy is if my child gets into a fight at school defending himself, he will receive no punishment at home.
But I respect the authority of the school to do what it has to. That is punishment enough for defending oneself.
I got in a fight in the middle of algebra class, defending myself. We were both suspended, but I was not punished at home. Nobody ever bothered me again after that.
It's almost as if boys (at least) need to have that one fight to send a message that they will fight back. Let's face it, bullies don't like to get hit either.
Some might think this sounds barbaric, but I'm sure most men would completely agree.
I watched Hayden handle J firsthand one time. J came up and smacked Hayden on the back of the head unprovoked. I wanted to throttle the little twit, but I wanted to see what Hayden's reaction would be, and handled it really well. He stood up for himself and shouted, "What was that for?" but did not get violent. So Hayden is not going to go quietly into the night. I respect his maturity throughout this ordeal. He even told us he doesn't hate J... he just thinks J has problems and has made some bad choices. He's a pretty cool kid.
Haydan- I also got picked on a lot in elementary school, and a little bit in middle school too. Its because I was a huge dork. Embrace it buddy- when you're an adult being dorky is an admirable trait. Its the bullies who become tow-truck drivers and parking meeter readers.
Here's a little advise your grandfather gave me when I was your age. I'll do my best impersonation. "Honey, if somebody won't leave you alone...punch 'em right in the nose or the eye not the groin that just (peeves) them off more. And when their eyes are watering that's when you run like (the wind)."
Hey it worked for me. Best of luck to you.
Oh and I love you Haydan- And I honestly DON'T think you're a dork. You're a cool kid and its unfortunate that you have to learn to deal with difficult people. Welcome to Earth.
Thanks for your pearls of wisdom, Di. It's as though Pops was right there urging him on.
P.S. I still think you should be a writer, but you need a diligent copy editor!
Your post makes me SO mad and Hayden isn't even my kid! Kids are so mean. I don't know what isn't to like about Hayden either. We miss him during our afternoon playground sessions.
Thanks Shana, and I know I know spelling is not one of my strong points. :)
Hayden you are a cool kid. J probably bullied you because you were the "star" of the talent show! I'll bet he can't sing a note. And you have all that wavy blonde hair, and blue eyes, and I think you look more like me all the time. (When I was young, of course.) And Diana is right, she once punched a boy on the school bus for standing in front of her. Punched the kid right in the nose. It was kinda sad though. He had a crush on her and was teasing her. He moved away after that.
And Pops favored the nose for punching and the eyes for sticking your fingers into. Both of them make your eyes water like crazy. And if anyone knew "punching", it was Pops. His big brother beat him up nearly every day until he grew up to be taller than him. But your brother is much too nice to beat you up, right? Right. Violence is no good, just stand up for yourself.
I love you, big guy!
Some day Hayden, you will be bald. And you won't look much like Nana anymore.
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