Mom: What makes your moods so vile?
Nathan: I hate the world!!!
Mom: Is there anything that doesn't make you sulk?
Nathan: Video games, so I can let off some steam blowing up things. Oh, and I forgot: PIE and llamas.
Mom: Why does your voice sound like a dying moose?
Nathan: Leave me alone! I just want to be all normal!
Mom: Who are your heroes?
Nathan: Neil Armstrong (first man on the moon), Invader Zim (shortest conquerer of Earth), Ms. Pellegrini (my core teacher and the most efficient sucker of one's lifeforce I have ever encountered), and my cousin Caleb (the most perservering kid I've ever met).
Mom: What would you do if you could change one thing in the world?
Nathan: I would make all school food edible. For example, hot dogs would not come prepackaged in their buns. They would not be soaked in chili until they were best eaten with a straw. Instead, we would have a condiment bar and soft fluffy buns in which to deposit our freshly cooked Hebrew Nationals.
Mom: What is one thing about you that would surprise our devoted readers?
Nathan: As crazy as it sounds, kids at school actually like me for my size.
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