Me Like Tag

1. Me Like Family

2. Me Like This Kitchen

3. Me Like Reading a Good Book

4. Me Like San Francisco

5. Me Like Jack Bauer

6. Me Like Laughing

7. Me Like Funky Jewelry

8. Me Like Jammies

9. Me Like Chocolate

10. Me Like Life

Me like learning about friends. And... Me like that we have a fully functional computer again so we can actually blog again. So, Me want many friends to do this.

Ooey, Gooey, Sappy Love Songs

Since most of you don't have access to Diana's blog (she attempts to protect her family from lurking creepy pervs by keeping it private), I thought I'd include this snippet from her tag. Wish I were this creative and could come up with prompts like this...
"Let's not deny it. When you fancy no one can hear you with the water pouring down around your ears and a locked door between you and the rest of humanity, you might get a little overconfident in your singing abilities. Maybe lose some of those inhibitions that hold you back. And you sound good my friend. I mean real good. So good you sort of wish a talent scout would accidentally wander into your house because you know he would be blown away by that shockingly awesome voice of yours. Perhaps you should invest in a karoke machine. Perhaps you should try out for American Idol. Perhaps..."you're worrying the children. Are you wounded?"

Here's to those songs that enhance all your embarassing moments, those songs so cheesy they give Velveeta a run for its money, those songs that make you laugh and dry-heave and break out in melodramatic song simultaneously. Here are my nominated "Top Five Sappiest Love Songs You Sing in the Shower"... Because you know you do."

---

I don't really sing in the shower (I am usually too bleary eyed), but if I did... And I were feeling particularly sappy, here's what the neighbors would hear:

1. "Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid
2. "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole
3. "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx
4. "Someone to Watch Over Me" by George Gershwin
5. ...I'm not proud of it... "The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston

I tag Natalie, Candice, and Clancy

Husband Tag

Angie, my sister in law and amazing cinnamon roll baker extraordinaire, gave me this tag to complete all about the Wayneman. When first tagged, he stipulated that I was only to post it after he had a chance to review it first.

Pshsht. Right. He should know me better than that!

So after I refused to do it under such conditions, he promptly changed his tactics by saying in his best sarcasm, "If you don't do it, then you don't love me enough." Well, Wayno, since you put it that way... Here ya go!

Wayne's 5 favorite things that he loves:
1. His devoted and loyal eternal companion... The X-box 360.
2. His OTHER wife... Me.
3. Da Boys.
4. Goth-sounding Vampire club music (BTW, the picture is photoshopped... His music is freakish, but I assure you there is no one LESS freakish than Wayne.)
5. Arrested Development, The Office, and Flight of the Conchords


5 things on his to-do list:
(Now, I'm not sure how to answer this one, because I have a list for him to-do... and then HE has a list to-do... And ne'er the twain shall meet. So we'll go with HIS list.)
1. Get the exploding dishwasher fixed
2. Fix the horribly temperamental television
3. Help the boys with their homework
4. Move out of L.A. the second my residency is over
5. Watch Flight of the Conchords with me tonight.

5 snacks he loves:
1. Whole wheat bagels with light cream cheese
2. Mountain Dew
3. Peanut butter and JAM sandwiches (never jelly)
4. Whatever somebody didn't get around to eating and is saving for the perfect moment of edible satisfaction
5. Anything that I have fixed for myself (It's really kind of crazy how ANYTHING I have going into my mouth suddenly becomes an insatiable craving for him... scrambled eggs, popcorn, water...).

5 facts you may not know:
1. Did research during undergrad to determine if smell affected taste perception and fed a bunch of unsuspecting college students baby food.
2. Was born with funky little thumb on his left hand that we call his "fumb" or "monkey paw." When I first met him, I thought it was a little toe attached to his palm. (Picture to the left shows Wayne's fumb next to his starfish-soulmate's fumb at Sea World.)
3. Was completely set up for psychological trauma by his mother, who called him "Weeworthy" and "Pervival" and "Peevis" as a child. Somehow he managed to recover.
4. Has an amazing ability to draw people, particularly men. I am always in awe when he draws some ridiculously good looking dude with chiseled abs and stunning features.
5. Has a picture of himself that looks kind of like this one on his passport (Wayne is on the right), despite the First Presidency's admonition to have a "missionary haircut" displayed on said passport to go on his mission to Japan.

5 places he has lived:
1. Hawaii
2. Carlsbad, CA
3. Cobb Mountain, CA
4. Various places in Japan
5. Santa Monica, CA (much to his chagrin)



5 quirky things about him:
1. Loves obscure sports (by the American standard) like Soccer, Hockey, Lacrosse... Dodgeball maybe?
2. Smacks his food like a basset hound when he eats. He says this is because he has such luscious lips and they (his lips) can't help it.
3. Channels his late father's demeanor whenever he is in L.A. traffic...
and all that that implies.
4. Works really hard at creating the perfect avatar for his blog. Consequently, I found about 30 pictures of him from the angle of his strikingly handsome chin one day, and I realized he had taken them all himself.
5. Reads a plethora of information from books, magazines, online, etc. and is a veritable encyclopedia of history and sports, but cannot, no matter how hard he tries, finish a book.

I sure love that quirky man of mine!!!!


5 people I tag:
1. Amy
2. Christine
3. Tracy
4. Christina
5. Annette

Twelve Days of Christmas Tag

One amusing Christmas Memory: When I was a kid, we had a cabin in the mountains. It had a cozy fireplace in the living room that had been amped up by my dad's favorite obsession in the early eighties: The wood burning stove... Which could thaw the Sierra chill in no time flat.

Above the mantle sat a stuffed bobcat that came with the cabin. We named him George. The taxidermist who stuffed George had attempted to mummify him with a snarl on his face, but had failed miserably--It looked much more like a smile. So we always decorated George with a Santa hat around the holidays because he looked so very cheerful.

After a full day of playing in the snow, we would come inside and dry out all of our wet clothes by the fireplace, sometimes hanging things from various parts of George. So my amusing memory is simply a snapshot in my mind of George the smiling bobcat, smiling ferociously atop the fireplace, with a Santa hat on his head, and a pair of pink underwear hanging from his mouth to dry.

Two theories as to why Santa chooses the chimney as his best means of entry: Theory #1...His first job as a cat burglar was interrupted by a brief stint in a federal prison. As he was being busted for his third strike for breaking and entering through a chimney, he concocted the story about breaking IN to the home to deliver presents, and the judge threw out the case... but the FBI never got off his back, so he's been forced to keep up the ruse indefinitely;

Theory #2...Santa was raised in 'da hood and was afraid if he was seen in his neighborhood wearing his slick red suit, he'd get shot. He would Fo' sho' end up gettin' capped in a drive-by if the gang wearing blue suits (Hanukkah Harry, I'm looking in your direction, yo!) ever saw him walking in through the front door.

Three things you want for Christmas: Warm clothes; Cute clothes; Liposuction to fit into cute, warm clothes.

Four of your favorite Christmas movies: "A Christmas Story," "Christmas Vacation," "Elf," "Love Actually."

Five ways you've been naughty this year: I'll never tell!

Six ways you've been nice: I can't think of anything. Hmmmm. I wonder which of Santa's lists I'm destined to wind up on!

Seven people you suspect are elves: Ummmm. ME?!?; Anna Holgerson; Chris Kattan; Bjork; Tori Amos; Kiera Knightley, Nicole Kidman

Eight of Santa's reindeer: Flasher, Exotic Dancer, Prancer (sorry... That one's just funny as is), Nixon, Comic, Putrid, Mumbler, and Dissin'

Nine uses for snow: Skiing (Side Note: I really like writing words with double vowels in them... Vacuum is another favorite); For some reason, just BEGS to be played in; Finding creative places to put Frosty the snowman's carrot decoration; Making polar bears invisible so they can successfully sneak up on their prey; Cool to look at the individual flakes under a microscope for the split second they survive on the glass slide before the light bulb melts it (I had a fairly nerdy childhood, eh?); Creating a most impressive scene during the aerial shot of outdoor football games in Buffalo; Gives me an excuse to wear cute hats; Fabulous ammo for pelting small, unsuspecting children (plus, the weapon melts or is obliterated without a trace upon impact); My favorite sound in the world is the way snowfall seems to absorb all other sound.

Ten least favorite things about Christmas: Trying to think of creative gift ideas for men; Bragging Family Newsletters; Mall parking lots; Gaining weight because I can't say NO to homemade confections; Hanging the lights on the tree; Taking down the decorations when all is said and done; Boy bands taking liberties with sacred Christmas hymns and turning them into pop crap; Deciding whose house to go to for the festivities; Living in Southern California, where it's likely to be 80 degrees on Christmas day; Receiving a gift that you know has been regifted.

Eleven word associations to "figgy pudding": (1)I'll (2)bet (3)that (4)would (5)look (6)like (7)a (8)big (9)pile (10)of (11)poop.... Seriously. Pudding made out of figs?!? Blehck!

Twelve reasons you love Christmas: Christmas songs (the good old timey stuff and the Nutcracker are my favorites!); Hunting for impressive light displays; Christmas Eve crab feed at home with the boys; Quietly reading the nativity to focus on what Christmas is really about; All the homemade goodies that make me fat; Only one hour of church the Sunday before Christmas, and it's usually an hour filled with beautiful music and great, uplifting stories; Cold weather (in every part of the country except So.Cal); Christmas movies; The smells of Christmas (fireplaces, baking pies, pine trees, cinnamon, gingerbread); Visiting with family and friends; A little extra time off work; Feeling like there is still magic to be had... No matter how old you are.

I tag the first twelve people to get through this entire post... Just sign your name in the comment section when you accept the challenge.

Mentisms

What better way to reenter the blogging arena than with a good old fashioned tag? Natalie Nelson posted this a couple of weeks ago and was probably feeling totally dejected when I didn't respond... Actually, she probably could have cared less, but I'd like to maintain my well practiced self-delusion, thinking my opinion actually matters to people. But when I finally found it, I responded to her witty answers in a comment, wherein the word verification was "Mentisms." I think I found something to add to the vernacular.

Mentisms (pl. n.): Musings of a person with questionable mental faculties. Ex: "Three Men and a Little Lady" was full of mentisms today.

So here they are... Mentisms galore in the form of descriptors about me.

I Am: Freakishly short
I Want: Chocolate at any given moment
I Have: A big butt (see above)
I Miss: Northern California
I Fear: Hurting my patients
I Hear: Wayne playing the X-box
I Search: For a complete set of socks for the boys EVERY day. Where do those little buggers go?
I Wonder: Why, when you have children, does everything on your entire body change shape, but we can't grow an extra hand or two to keep up with all the multitasking.
I Regret: Torturing my little sister so mercilessly as a kid
I Love: My boys... All three of them.
I Forgive: But there better be a darn good excuse for the offense. (I know, I know... Not very Christlike.)
I Ache: When I see a special-needs patient that is not being well cared for.
I Always: Cringe when somebody smacks their food.
I Try: To whistle, but it sounds like I'm just hyperventilating.
I Am Not: Frou-frou.
I Seem: Like I know what I'm doing.
I Know: A lot of random crap that will never matter in my life. I'm a trivia trap.
I Feel: Bummed that the wonderful Holiday weekend is drawing to a close.
I Dance: In a manner that brings great embarrassment to my children.
I Dream: Very rarely. I have difficulty sleeping.
I Give: and I give and I give...
I Listen: To the most ridiculous conversations between my boys sometimes. And I think to myself, "Where in the world did you come from? Surely you don't have my DNA!"
I Sing: Like a Mermaid these days.
I Laugh: Quite often. Wayne is a funny, funny man.
I Can't: Believe how bad our economy sucks right now!
I Write: My mentisms for all the world to read.
I Cry: Very rarely, but usually at the lamest of times, and usually when I have wicked PMS.
I Sleep: With lots of pillows, elbowing Wayne whenever he comes near me, flopping back-to-front and front-to-back... Basically, I'm a high-maintenance sleeper, and even if all the conditions are just perfect, I still don't achieve much in the way of a good REM cycle.
I Am not always: Tolerant of whining. Correction...I am rarely tolerant of whining.
I See: Christmas decorations that need to be put up.
I Need: A massage and a great hairstyle.
I Should: Finish my book.

Eventually, I will put up a post of things that went on while we were on our forced hiatus from the blogosphere. For now, I tag anybody who is related to me (In-laws count).

Do I Really Want to Open Up This Can of Worms?

Well, this isn't really a tag, per se... But I saw this on a few of my friends' blogs and it sounds like fun. Here's how it works:

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together.

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

Five is RIGHT OUT!

So Wayne gave me another freaking tag! After this, I call a tag truce! No more. I have important things to say, and am held back by my compulsion to answer these things. If you got a tag from me about kitchen sinks and toilets, that's so yesterday! You'll see that post a little further down.

Wayne's tag was something I've never blogged about, so again, I'm fished in. Here it goes... His challenge was to come up with five bands that I was into in high school, and discuss (with pictures). I can't think of five bands I was INTO, so here are three... no more, no less.

1. The Cure

Now, I can divide my music tastes into two very distinct categories in high school: Pre-cheerleading and Post-Cheerleading. Before I was handed pom-pons, I was a lot more morose. I had angst. We had moved to Sacramento because my fat, creepy step-dad had wooed my mom away from my hometown so he could keep his fabulous job at the power plant (Can anyone say Homer Simpson?). I started giving all my church leaders major attitude, and I think they all worried I was going to corrupt all the other sweet little innocent 12-13 year old girls in the youth group. But there was this one family in our ward who had, like, twelve perky little perfect kids... except one of them. Lisa was her name. And she had angst! She wore black lipstick, long straight hair (mind you, this was the 80's and big hair was king), and black clothes. She was COOL! About this time, I found a band who had a similar style, complete with black lipstick. I look back now and think they look like they walked out of the movie Beetlejuice, but they were so moody, and that's the personae I wanted to convey to my Mom and my fat, freaky step-dad... Who (last time I saw him) looked a lot like this, but without the Tim Burton hair and eye makeup:Poor, poor Robert Smith... What have you become?

2. U2U2 has been my favorite band since I first started buying records. Loved them then, love 'em now. I love how they've evolved over the years. And I think Larry Mullen Jr. is super studly. Bono is the coolest humanitarian on the planet, and wouldn't it be wicked awesome if he won a Nobel Peace prize someday? It is one of my lifelong goals to see them in concert, but every time they go on tour, tickets are hundreds of dollars and I can't afford it... and as time progresses and I age (and they age), I have visions of all the old farts that still make such a big deal about going to Rolling Stones concerts. They're finally able to fulfill their lifelong dreams of seeing Mick Jagger and Keith Richards prance around onstage with their walkers, because they can finally cash in that IRA and afford the tickets that they have longed to purchase since 1967. Nope. Not me. I'll just keep dreaming I was at the U2 Joshua Tree concert in 1985.

And now onto my post-cheerleading days...

I somehow became perky.

I liked side ponytails.

I wore aqua and purple.

And above all else, I liked to shake my groove thing.

And the one thing I remember I absolutely HAD to have on my mix-tape for my sweet sixteen birthday party...

3. Vanilla Ice (...Ice Baby) No party was complete without it. Sure, he plagiarized Queen. Who cared? The dude could rap! And I didn't know he was white when I first heard the song. I just figured he was another MC Hammer... Well, his pants were certainly just as "fly." And he had a kickin' high top fade with the shaved side stripes.

What can one say when one hears such sounds but, "Word to your mother."

I now tag Shellie(who says she "sucky sucks" because she hasn't been blogging lately, so here's some good comedic fodder for ya!), Kelly (we all know Duran Duran will be on that list!), and Josh (who I've never seen post anything on his family blog, but I miss our morning commuter discussions about such things, so I'm willing to see if this sparks such a post).

Another Tag-o-rama

Diana tagged me. I wish her blog wasn't private. She is a very funny writer, and (I have recently confirmed) a very anal retentive housekeeper. With this tag, you are supposed to take pictures of things as they are RIGHT NOW. No cheating. No Molly Mormon "Oh dang it, I don't have the scriptures laying out on the bed in a conspicuous place, so I'll just set it next to the flower arrangement after I dust and then take the picture." Nope. As is! So here's me:

1. My kitchen sink as it is:Just kidding. But can you imagine if somebody's kitchen DID look like this? Do you think they'd actually post it like that? Or would they frantically scurry around shoving pots and pans in the oven just to take the Better Homes and Garden shot? And then, when they'd ask people to come over for dinner, their friends would flash back to the picture, there would be an awkward pause, and the friend would say something like, "Uuuuh. I have a thing to go to. Sorry. I can't make it tonight. Maybe some other time."

Here's the real me:

2. My toilet as it is: (Okay. I flipped down the corner on one of the bath mats. I guess that was cheating.)

3. My laundry room as is:

(sorry folks... Don't have one of my own)

4. My fridge as is:

5. Wayne as is:

(Dude, I am SO DEAD when he finds this one! Can you say Al Bundy?)ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.....

6. The Kids:

Hayden as is ("The Microsoft X-Box: Proud contributor to obesity and killer of brain cells since 2001"):

Nathan as is (Just walked in the door before I was ready to post):

7. My favorite shoes (Not for comfort, mind you):8. My favorite room:

9. My closet as is: (Not organized by fabric content as it once was) 10. Me right now:

I now tag Amy (even though nobody looks at her blog, but really should because her kid is one of the cutest little dudes on the planet) ;-), Katie Bybee, and Anna.

More Stuff You Never Wanted to Know About Me

Christine tagged me, so if you're not sick of learning weird stuff about me I would never disclose otherwise, enjoy the complexity that is me...

5 things I did today:
1)Rode the bus next to a crazy dude with a bandanna covered in marijuana logos on his stinky head

2)Listened to a lecture that droned on and on and on about working in the hospital... My favorite part was when they told us how best to utilize the hospital chaplain if one of our patients dies and we have to inform the family. I HOPE I never have to do that as a dentist!!!

3)Tried to download a new ringtone on my new cell phone... But I can't! Dern newfangled contraptions!

4)Had an impression of my ear canal taken so I can get a fancy shmancy stethoscope made custom for my ear.

5)Blogged much later than I ought to, since I have to be up at 4:30 tomorrow.

5 snacks I enjoy:
1) Snap peas
2) Kettle chips
3) Watermelon
4) Pirate's Booty (not Johnny Depp... The popcorn)
5) Peanut butter M & M's

5 things I would do if I were suddenly a billionaire:
1) Pay off school debt and sock away a bunch for the boys' education
2) Have an Oprah Winfrey-esqe give away day for my family
3) Travel all over the world
4) Do a whole bunch of children's dentistry for free
5) Buy a house and fill it with fabulous furnishings, a killer kitchen, and a live in maid

5 places I've lived:
1) San Rafael
2) Sacramento
3) Augusta, GA
4) San Diego area
5) Santa Monica

5 jobs I've had:
1) Craft department manager at House of Fabrics
2) Manager at McDonald's
3) Stay-at-home mom
4) Slum lord in a low-income apartment complex
5) Killer, dissector, and experimentor of hundreds of lab mice (Wayne swears they will haunt me in the afterlife)

5 things people don't know about me (I'm pretty sure I can't top the body bag and Milli Vanilli so don't get too excited):
1) I can't whistle

2) I performed Shakespeare with a southern accent in high school

3) I had a great big crush on Larry Wilcox in the third grade. "Who's that?" you say? He was Eric Estrada's blonde counterpart in the 70's phenomenon known as CHiPs.

4) I once ate an entire bag of tangerines when I was pregnant with Nathan and a whole jar of pickles when I was pregnant with Hayden

5) I had a pillow that I slept with (like a security blanket) until I came out to California to go to college. During my first night away from home, I threw it away because I figured it was time to grow up. (Chad??? Andy???)

5 People I tag:
Tag! You're it
1) Chad
2) Andy
3) Sanders
4) Carlton
5) Wayne

...I know... A bold and potentially disastrous move on my part tagging all men, but let's see what happens! And Chad, you have my permission to postpone until you get some pictures up of your brand new baby girl, but let's not put this off too long, mmm-kay?

Trois, Tres, Three

Shellie, tagged me. So here is my attempt at answering the following prompts in the most thought-provoking manner possible. (Since I'm relatively new to the blogging world, this is my first official tag... I feel so cool!)


Name 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 random surprising facts about yourself...

3 Joys:

• Singing. I love to sing. Used to be pretty good at it, but now I just squawk at the primary kids every week and dance around like a monkey to keep their short little attention spans focused.


• Nature. I love to walk in the woods. I am not necessarily a very "happy camper..." as there is a wide distinction between trying to sleep with cricket noises, and just having a quiet moment in the woods to listen to them for a little while without distractions. I love the way the woods smell. I love the way snow absorbs all sound. I love the way sun feels on my face when it filters through the treetops. I love the way mountain rivers feel instantly cold in the springtime. I love the way wildflowers can completely blanket a hillside and make it look purple or orange or yellow, depending on the seeds that happened to blow onto that soil and thrive. I guess I'm a bit of a hippie at heart.


• Family. (Duh!) I have a good one. I love my boys (all three of them). I love watching my sons grow up. I love to think of what they will become as they continue to grow. Will Nathan really become an astronaut? Will Hayden be a bridge engineer? I'm not really all that consumed with what profession they will enter, but with the idea that they find something that really brings them joy. Will they be integrous and valuable members of society?
  
  

  And where do I even begin with Wayno... my self-sacrificing stud? So glad to be his companion for eternity! We have grown as a couple so much over these past 15 years. I sure do love him... even if he looks like Rob Schneider and "The Rock's" love child

3 Fears:

• Feet. Hate 'em!!! I dig around in some really putrid, festering, nasty mouths, but show me an ingrown toenail, and I'll be retching and heaving in no time. I HATE FEET!


• My Room when it's messy. I actually wake up with night terrors when my room is a mess (which is often in our little apartment with no storage space). I dream that someone has walked into my room in the middle of the night for an inspection of sorts, and it actually causes me to wake up in a sweat.


• Smelling funky. It would cause me great distress if someone said, "Man! You stink!"

3 Goals:

• I'm about to finish #1: Graduate from dental school, fully sane and competent. Now the fully sane part is debatable, but I think I'm a fairly safe beginner as a dentist. I suppose the next goal will be to get through my pediatric residency.


• Visit Machu Picchu. Lots of places to see in this lifetime...That one is at the top of my list.


• Try not to be a fat old lady. I will not delude myself into thinking I will ever be super thin. I like food too much and dislike exercise about as much. So I just hope to maintain.

3 Current Obsessions/Collections:

• Jewelry. Not the good stuff. Just cheap, fun jewelry to match with every outfit.


• Blogging. Gives me an outlet for my stress.


• Digital Photography. It's like a scavenger hunt for me. I love to take pictures of random textures in nature and architecture, in particular. I take my camera just about everywhere, just so I can get shots like this (I would never have taken pictures of pond scum with traditional film).

3 Random/Surprising facts about you:

• I was once a Milli Vanilli groupie. My girlfriend and I made brownies and brought them to the hotel they were supposedly staying at. They weren't there.


• I talk and sometimes walk in my sleep. I once woke up in the back of my closet, wading through the clothes that I had dreamt were the vines of the jungle. Wayne and I once had an entire conversation while he was talking in his sleep too (except he was dreaming he was in "backwards land" and kept speaking in this weird incoherent language that was actually backwards English).


• I was once put in a body bag and taken away in a hearse. During my senior year of high school, I played the victim of a drunk driving accident and had blood (ketchup) smeared all over me and then scraped out of the front seat of a banged up car that had been part of a real fatal accident (somebody's front teeth were still stuck in the dashboard).

There ya have it! Now I tag Kelly, Tracy, and Rhonda. I'm hoping this gets around to lots of people on my list, because it is hard to pick... I think there would be a lot of clever answers to these questions.